to “worth” it, or to “worth” it not !

from the endomorph:

it’s pouring in cape-town.
the rain is coming down with the kind of effort that i have been trying to achieve at gym.
it’s only 3.36 in the afternoon but the charcoal grey of the sky has kissed the day with darkness.
the wind outside cutting from all sides.
even though it’s gloomy and cold with that real “twilight” glampire’s gonna jump you at any moment feel,
i am feeling kind of chipper and toasty inside, though even typing is a sore story as my arms are completely fatigued after today’s workout.

who am i to say what is “worth” it and what is not?
“worth” is something that only becomes sensible when an individual attributes value to the factor.
i am not able to tell you if pushing yourself in the gym will be “worth” it to you or anyone else for that matter.
i have only recently been able to attribute “worth” to gym-ing myself.
this may be because in general i felt completely “worthless” as a person.
no, not because i was severely overweight, that was merely the product of my emotional state.
i felt worthless because i stopped attributing “worth” to myself in comparison to others.
that was the nr.1 probable cause to a lot of my thinking, attitude and behaviour towards food, excersize, business and individual creativity.
i have had this illness since childhood.
roots so deep you need a forklift to just get through the first 100 layers of dirt.
so whats the endomorphic point to the babble ….
well just this, even though it is a pain in the ass and most of the rest of my body to keep on going, i have made the smallest connection to a very disconnected relationship with my body.
discomforting as it may sound to the sane of mind, … stretching your muscles to a place where you have never ventured to take your body, muscles or mind before, awakens a link between the physical and spiritual bodies.
it is as if small electrical currents are being blasted between the two whilst experiencing pain or extreme physical effort.
sounds very S&M i know, but for myself personally i cannot imagine separating the two whilst at gym.
for fek sakes it sounds all very fungi … but ja … it really is a reality shock.
as numb as i have felt as a living humanoid amoeba over the past year, so detached from my body that it was as if i was in a permanent state of astral projection, so connected i feel when i am aching like crap after gym.
so for me, i attribute “worth” to gym because one is forced to count on yourself for a result.
i have been forced into connecting with my physical body, drawing from the mental and spiritual at the same time, some days just to make it through the door.
i would not have been able to persist if i could not attribute any “worth” to the experience.
i don’t think it’s worth it to do anything if one is not able to attribute “worth” to the action as the reaction will be “worthless” and i would dare to say even damaging in the end.

for anyone who ever reads my babble please know that this is not a blog about trying to convince anyone that going to gym will save you from anything in particular, or that it is life changing or even that you need to ever go at all !
this is a blog about changing a life, using gym as the only thing i could think of at the time.
and it is also a way to tell myself the things many a lost friend had spent countless breaths trying to tell me before.
sometimes when we say it to ourselves, only then do we start listening and paying attention.

if it is skydiving that works for you or swimming naked in the arctic, then may all the gods poor their blessings on you, as long as you know that it is better to try something than it is to give up on everything.
i would love to say happiness can be found watching porn and jerking all day, but it seems like sometimes you need to get out there in the real world and kick the bastard in the face.

good luck to you …
and
good luck to me!

IMG_4960 IMG_4965 IMG_4964 latest pics taken at gym on the 3d july – tights and orange shoes …. now that takes a real man #LOL
IMG_4963

 

the sunshine state of mind

from the endomorph:

keeping up a strict routine at gym is about as hard as walking on eggs …
no one will ever be able to tell me any different.
even on days i absolutely love going, the mission of going home, getting dressed and going back out can be an obstacle, especially when it is that cold outside and for some reason you seem to own a lot more gym shorts than sweat pants.
yet i have managed to bite down on the complaints and stepped up to stepping out.

i have dropped two pants sizes and lost about 15kg now with 20%BF – thats body fat … not boyfriend … as i am not sure
how one accurately measures that.
all of a sudden people here and there are saying … oh my you’ve lost weight … thank God … means it’s working i guess.
but oh the little sins in the kitchen … i am still battling with those a bit.
i can kill off a block of cheese faster than a possessed mouse of steroids.
and the late night craving for sommit sweet, why always at 11pm ??
i think there is an invisible fairy in my house that comes out at night sprinkling sweet fairy dust all over my senses.
how stupid we are to tell ourselves it’s ok to cheat a little here and there because tomorrow we will be back at gym working up a sweat and working out the chocolate of the night before.

this is just another vicious cycle that i like to create for myself.
investing in something that is hard work to obtain something that i really want without the effort of sticking to the rules.
a good body starts when you are not at gym …. thats what “they” all say.
and i know in my deepest lindt chocolate tormented heart that it is the truth.
it probably also isn’t as hard as the walk from my car in em shorties through the wind and rain to the very confusing revolving door of my gym.
(i always seem to make it stop when i am on the inside momentarily turning me into living art – tis the blond of my nature)

how to break the cycle … i don’t know yet … and will keep you up to date if i find something that works, a method or a spell.
perhaps it will just be admitting to myself that it is pointless to do one and not the other, perhaps i will acknowledge that now is probably the time to start, to try even a little harder than i have done before.
that saying no is not as much effort as an hour on the treadmill, and that an hour on the treadmill will be better spent loosing another kg than keeping off on that may have been gained the night before.

i would like to loose another 10kg’s before the summer. i have about 3 months to achieve this goal and the one thing i am very proud of is the fact that i still have a goal.
the other thing that i am very proud of is the fact that lately i am starting to do these things for myself, the focus has shifted from making someone else happy to finding a little warm place in the sun where i can just stretch out and be a little more of what there is behind the veil of a person i have been pretending to be.
there is nothing wrong with pretending for a while, if we have to do this to survive. i would have to guess one just needs to know when the time has come to lift the veil so that we won’t find ourselves lost in an act that just is to hard to turn back on.

i am guessing  that my time has come.
to keep looking back is going to make going forward a lot harder.
even if the sun is in your eyes, it will eventually be above you in the perfect place, merely shining down on you.
for now it might be good to squint a little, to walk straight into it, leaving the shadows behind.

the best part of this is that the sun comes out everyday and that it is never to late for any endomorph to start crawling, walking, running.
we are all champions to ourselves and being our own super-hero might just be the best rescuing act of our lives.

good luck .
to all
and
good luck … to me.

“Hair Fitness”

Have your hair professionally cut

Have your hair professionally cut

the "one" I chose !

the “one” I chose !

"short sides high top, thin face!"

“short sides high top, thin face!”

"sharp and business like!"

“sharp and business like!”

"ruggedly sporty but still neat"

“ruggedly sporty but still neat”

"casual and strong"

“casual and strong”

from the “Endomorph”

I have lost a few cm’s around the waist over the past month, but as for some “Endomorphs” I loos weight at a particularly
slow rate.
So one of the deepest pot-holes in the road to fitness freedom for an endomorph is that change is sometimes visually slow.
That is why I have suggested in a previous post that it could help to spruce up ones wardrobe as an added motivational tool.
I fall into potholes like this quite easily depending on my energy levels and mood.
So it is not surprising that after enduring an extremely stressful weekend at work (I am a retailer) I felt the onset of bad temperament and despondency , actually I was just plain tired.
I had to work pretty much around the clock as we had staff issues and I had to fill the gap. The result was that I couldn’t get to gym for a couple of days and a couple became 4 very quickly.
The only saving grace that I had by this point is I maintained a healthy diet as regimentally as possible, and managed not to meet a burger along the way, which would have been a very convenient dietary solution.
A friend suggested I get a haircut to jump start the engines, and just to pamper myself.
I have never spent much time on “hair fashion” and pretty much kept it manageable and that was about it.
So I thought I’d give it a go and sauntered down to a local professional hair salon.
…enter Bianca…
The first thing my stylist called Bianca wanted to know from me is if I had any pictures of the style and colour I wanted.
My expression blanked…
I was used to just getting a “whatever is quick” haircut and had not much worried about the colour.
Bianca pointed out that since I was not 22 anymore a lot of fine grey hair had sprouted … somehow.
She also pointed out that since I had spent very little time in the sun of late that my hair was void of any natural highlights that the natural dark blond was even darker and that with the grey I was looking quit bland and tired… I agreed.
So we decided to rejuvenate the colour to a much lighter blond with darker tones and while the foils were being done and we waited for the colour to take, I hit up google for some styles. I found just by typing “top mens hairstyles for 2013” you’d easily get to pages filled with  the latest trends and best styles.
I particularly liked GQ’s advice on mens hairstyles and chose on that I thought I could pull off.
Now this is tricky for the reason that GQ models all seem to have squarely etched jaw lines and high cheekbones, and great hair, which mean that they could pretty much put a flowerpot on their head and spray paint it yellow and still look hot.
I have thick wavy hair and an oval face that is still working hard to produce the lack of a double chin and the appearance of cheek bones.
Sooooo, even though I find that most of the men’s hair styles for 2013 are actually quite nice and sharp looking, a lot sport an extremely short side and high top or sleeked back look.
The “endomorph” who is still loosing weight needs to be careful not to go too short as to overexpose the face, it is good to keep some focus on the length and try to visually slim down the face.
I chose a style with this in mind, as to be in keeping with the trend but a little longer on the fringe and sides with a sporty all over feel more rugby than footy as “Bianca” called it which I thought was quite funny.
I also received a quick lesson “free” of the difference between professional hair care products and the “off the shelf” itchy scalp kind. If you can invest in professional products a little at a time goes a long way and for the older “endomorph” has great advantages like a reduction in hair-loss and proper protection against dandruff (always gross, your not a Zamboni) as well as keeping hair shiny for longer.
Google products or ask your stylist, they are hair doctors after all !
When my hair was all done and “GHD’d” I was actually speechless. I looked years younger and …slimmer !!
I felt better about life.
I felt better about my body.
I felt motivated to get back to gym so that I would look even better the next time round and …
I am a visual delight !
My conclusion and the point to writing an entire “blab” about hair is that fitness is not simply about the body and loosing wight.
It is also an “AWARENESS”.
It is important to be aware that fitness touches the psyche, that by paying  attention to something left to chance you can inspire a whole new beginning.
Fitness is about pampering the body and the spirit. Rest when you are tired but keep focused.
I have learned that even if your face is not a chiselled marvel of design, you can still pay attention to the appearance of your hair, and this
has another kind of kickback…. PEOPLE NOTICE , and all of a sudden they notice you look a little more fit and then your mind interprets this as …. wait for it ……
I AM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT !!!
There is no better motivation for persistence than a mind that BELIEVES what it is doing is right !!

We are all GQ men just waiting to happen to the world and ourselves.
And Ima gonna get back to gym today !

“Swim Style”

"What's in your shorts"

“What’s in your shorts”

"Whats in your shorts"

“Whats in your shorts”

"Whats in your shorts"

“Whats in your shorts”

If I had to pic a sim-style for the coming summer, I will definitely put “2Eros” new “Icon Swim-shorts” at the top of my list.
I love the bold colours  , the almost retro style and the attention to detail. The colour pops in the rope ties and edging is awesome.
It is also a more discreet way to draw attention to a body under construction. In swimwear “less is definitely not always more” (unless you are sporting the physique of the model in the pics)
It is great that fashion companies are giving us some great options in casual comfortable swimwear.
Check out “2Eros” website for more styles, and great undies @ www.2eros.com  

Do it the “Old Khaki” way !!

"Postcards from Oxford"

“Postcards from Oxford”

 

Get your "Goat" on !

Get your “Goat” on !

Fashion is about much the same, and I believe that looking good contributes to feeling good.

My advice, find a clothing brand that works with your body.
I have been struggling with this for years.
I am a short square, most manufacturers cater to persons of lengthy statuesque proportions, which makes the search
for appropriate apparel a little more challenging.
For instance there is a big movement currently toward “skinny jeans” and “skinny  …” just about everything else.
For an Endomorph with short legs and a rugby players shoulders working his way back to fitness, this is the most ridiculous look ever.
It makes you look like a bowling pin and even larger and more out of proportion than you feel.
This is great if you have the retro body of the “Ectomorph”, and get your style tips from John and Yoko !
It took me months to find a brand that didn’t cut off the circulation in my legs and sat so low that my crack was visible to the whole world . I have almost no bum and a (currently) rounder middle , which means every time you bend in a pair of hip hugging skinny jeans, the whole lot pulls down to your knees.

I also had to find a budget friendly brand without it being typically cheap !
Its financially straining for anyone that is working towards fitness and having to buy supplements, to have to splurge large amounts on clothing as well ! I.O.W I just can’t afford “Diesel, Gucci and Prada” lol !!

I was given an “Old Khaki” gym bag for my birthday and immediately connected with the masculine, almost vintagy, postcards from Oxford kind of feel.
So I decided to check out their clothing as well and “Bam!” , what a cool brand !!
Even though the pants were a size “36” they didn’t look like my dads or like I belonged on a park bench.
They fit perfectly, a mix between cargo and smart casual. (still a little too long but nothing my tailor can’t chop)
Nice comfortable loose cut around the leg but not baggy ! (also makes an Endomorph look shorter !!)
Since winter has hit in the Southern Hemisphere, I opted for to great jumpers with the same vintage feel, slightly faded v-necks,
and slim body but not constrictive.
There is something about “Old Khaki” that wants to make you buy a “Moleskin” journal and a real set of “Travel Chests” so that you could head towards “Victoria Falls’ on a journey to finding the lost treasures of Sheba !
I’m loving it.
I am not saying that this brand is the sensible choice for every “Endomorph” out there !! (We are not all short squares)
I am saying that I made a personal connection with a certain style that suites my current shape and made me feel good about myself
and more importantly about shopping for clothes which I have found an almost traumatic experience in the past !

Again there is a small relation to fitness …. NEVER GIVE UP !

from the Endomorph: