“Bitter Chocolate”

from the “Endomorph:”

It has been exactly one month since I dragged myself out of my lazy bearish hibernation and off to the gym.
I went hoping to change my body and alter my badly overweight condition.
So today I took some new photo’s wearing exactly the same shirt in the same gym.
Thank God there has been a little shape change otherwise I would through myself from a building.
I still struggle looking at the images of myself as they seem so alien so distant from what I thought I looked like.
I still can’t help thinking , “how did that happen”, and “is that really me?”
Yet the pictures don’t lie – it really is me! (and I don’t mean it in the “wow, what a spectacular specimen kind of way more like the “blegh,
I stepped barefoot on a slug” kind of way !)

When your body is drastically bloated out of proportion change seems to happen in the most torturously slow kind of way.
This is a danger-zone for any Endomorph, and a very big danger zone for someone like me who has very limited patience for just about anything other than my dog. I am a control freak, insecure and mostly demand instant gratification.
These are not the characteristics one really needs to accomplish success in the gym. (or really in the broader spectrum of life)
The lesson here is that training and reshaping will probably teach you a couple of things about yourself.
For me (on a personal level) it is that any change comes at the price of giving up one action for another.
You cannot always have your cake and eat it.
“Literally this isn’t working for me – I had a piece of cake today because I didn’t want to offend anyone – and my body is rejecting it like
mind rejects the colour combination yellow and green.”
I feel shaky , nauseous and have incredible heart burn –
Could it be that my body prefers the splendour of salmon and salad???
Death by chocolate mouse is exactly how I am feeling right now!
If you told me this 3 months ago I would have told you that your on crack.
Even going to gym has become a simpler task and I dare to say I am almost looking forward to it now.
Looking at these pictures I also cannot deny that no man should be sporting “moobs” the size of mine.
It just isn’t right to have bigger boobs than the girls down at hooters!
And if a “drag queen” tells you she wish she had your breasts, you know you have hit an all time body fat low.
This happened to me, and I am struggling to see the positive side of a compliment like that, even when it wasn’t really meant from a place of ill intent.
I sorta have to admit that I would rather one day have some random dude tell me I have a great chest.
I don’t know if it is possible to reduce the size of my “moobs” through training,
but I have promised myself that if I achieve a certain weight again and they are still bouncing around, I’d go under the knife.
It is the one thing that has always bothered me about my body and if I have the chance to do something about it with the assistance of surgery, I wouldn’t hesitate.
“Moobs” are a horror to straight men and gay men alike.
Research has shown that a lot of the time it is genetic and sometimes it’s just fat.
I believe my “moobs” are genetic since a had them even when I was virtually “manorexic!”
It suck’s to have “moobs”, there is nothing hot about a guy with breasts and it can lead to hurtful comments even when made in jest,
I have heard them all!
So not only am I on a mission to change the incredibly bloated shape of my body,
but I am on a mission to fight a life long embarrassing condition that I am now really just fed up with.
I guess that means today a wished farewell to baked goods.
For now chocolate flavoured protein bars will have to be the sweet treat to my week !
"Endomorphs Metamorphosis" "Endomorphs Metamorphosis" "Endomorphs Metamorphosis" "Endomorphs Metamorphosis"

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One thought on ““Bitter Chocolate”

  1. Two things. First sugarfree dark chocolate bar from Valero, handful of almonds and pear or apple make a good dessert. Second… Check you mobs. Your like me with a big heft of fat all over but under that is muscle. My trainer is a meso… Little bastard… But I can do something he can’t. I can twitch and flex the muscles in my chest on demand. There is definite muscle there… It’s visible and just needs more work. My goal is to build muscle in my chest, arms and shoulders first… Even things out and build out the moobs per se. The extra muscle will help slim down as much as lift my spirit that I am getting stronger even if not visible at every weigh in.

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